Dear FRONTLINE,

I found the eulogy read by Nevada Verrino an expression of the feelings that so many families with children suffering from life-limiting illness experience. The quote "Our son knew the happiness of acceptance and unconditional love ... our wish is that his gifts and strengths will strengthen your own character and that his life will reach you and change you and that you will carry him with you for the rest of your days and pass him on in the way that you live your lives." I believe that sharing these personal experiences will inspire generations of future physicians. I am inspired.

I want to share my favorite quote from one of my patients, Gavin, as a euphemism for how he valued his life, "What if everyone around you got a million dollars but you only got a thousand dollars. You wouldn't throw away your thousand dollars just because you didn't get a million, would you?" I agree with his father's follow-up comment as well. "What he didn't realize was that he was worth much, much more than a million dollars to those of us who loved him."

We never forget the children that touch our heart in this special way. I am forever changed.

Joshua Dower
Morgantown, WV

Dear FRONTLINE,

I watched The Undertaking last night with my dad at his request. He is dying of cancer and specifically earmarked the show as something he did not want to miss. I was surprised and pleased that he chose to do this, as he has been "off and on" regarding wading into the details, and particularly the emotions of his impending death. As his primary caretaker I try to be sensitive to his leadings, but am always aware of his discomfort with my tears. Last night's show was powerful, beautiful, fascinating, sacred... It was almost surreal at times as together we watched this intimate preview of what how Dad will be taken care of when he dies. And of course, I could not contain my tears; a mixture of compassion for the families on the show and a strong helping of personal grieving. However, I think because of the show, my dad was able to be present with my tears. I think he began to realize that tears are precious gems that honor HIM and his "mattering" here.I am also deeply grateful for the inclusion of cremation, even down to the cardboard box, as that was the route my mother had chosen nearly a decade ago and is just as honorable as my dad's choice to be buried. Thank you for this powerful program. I appreciate the vulnerability extended by those who were willing to share their grieving journeys, and also for allowing us to watch the preparation of the dead. Bless you for inviting us into such intimate times and procedures.I am eager to purchase the DVD to share with family, friends and to have available to families that I work with in social services.

Pat Cochran
Anchorage, AK

Dear FRONTLINE,

I had just gotten home from my job as a nurse in a cancer institute here in Buffalo when I turned on your program. I sat for the duration mesmerized by your incredible program. I have been present when patients have died and I have always felt honored to be there and witness their passing. The Lynch family serves with honor and I can not give any higher praise for their compassion during a very difficult journey. My heart goes out to the parents of the young child. There quiet dignity and love should be a lesson to us all. Thank you for showing a side of death we never see.

Katherine Wegrzyn
Buffalo, New York

Dear FRONTLINE,

I am a police officer and deal with death on a regular basis. I look at death as a stranger. That is to say, I do not want to know the deceased that I am dealing with. I am required to collect all information relating to the death but, I never allow myself to see a person. It is the way I survive. When the Verrino's told their story I felt their pain as if it were mine. I cried and was flooded with the memories of those children I had seen die. My survival wall crashed in as I sat watching your show. A deep and rarely acknowledged feeling was exposed within my heart. Fear and sorrow. Adults die and I accept it as what must be. I treat the survivors of death with dignity and respect. But, have given little thought to what comes next for the dead.

I want to thank Lynch & Sons for showing and talking about what comes next, for being caring and compassionate with the dead. I also want to thank Frontline for their courage to produce another program where other television productions dare not go. For provoking discussion within my family and friends on topics we seldom care to discuss. And to remind all that to be human is to be understanding, empathetic and aware.

Jeff DeGennaro
Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Dear FRONTLINE,

I began my funeral service career thirty years ago after serving in full-time church ministry for several years. I have seen a lot of changes in the funeral profession during my career. As I watched the Lynch Family serve their community I actually spoke to myself, "the example of this family of caring professionals is the reason I entered the funeral profession." It is an honor to know there are still colleagues of this caliber serving their local communities with such dignity. Thank you for sharing the honor and pride that we as funeral directors feel as we serve our "neighbors."

Bob Gibson
Easley, South Carolina

Dear FRONTLINE,

I greatly appreciated this superb program, stressing the importance of funeral rituals - many of which have been lost in contemporary culture. When a life-long friend and fraternity brother died earlier this year, his wife and family decided to greet friends at one of the very nice local funeral homes, followed by a church service at which Glenn was present. In our area of suburban Chicago, it appears this has fallen out of favor. A memorial service without a casket is more in vogue in the local Protestant churches. I have attended several, and it was not until this funeral that I realized what had been lacking. There was a genuine aura of emotion and a hushed sort of reverence when the casket was moved down the aisle. Several people reached out to touch it in a gesture of respect, and one could feel a sense of pride that this person we knew and loved was honored accordingly. Many commented at the reception following, how powerful and profound this was - unlike a memorial format which almost seems indistinguishable from an ordinary Sunday worship service. It was different ... set apart ... with tangible symbols and movements that provided a feeling of completeness. Thank you for the sensitive and classy way this subject was portrayed.

David Armfield
Chicago, IL

Dear FRONTLINE,

I had lost sight of how important ritual is in assisting us with the most difficult life passages, especially death. Growing up in an Irish Catholic family, I took them for granted. Last month, our firm lost an important long term member after a long battle with cancer. This was something that all twenty staff members shared, sharing was not optional, it just was. This person chose not to have any service or memorial. It was too bad because those left behind needed a little ritual.

P.S. Thank you for reminding me what a wonderful writer Thomas Lynch is...it has been too long since I read his work.

Boston, Massachusetts

Dear FRONTLINE,

I awoke this morning thinking about last night's program, which awed me. Grief is indeed hard work, and it's personal, and the willingness of all involved to share it means a lot. I hope the participants know how important their contributions were. The reading of the poetry was beautiful, the care and nurturing of the hospice and the Lynch's was uplifting, and Anthony's parents' eulogy was simply breathtaking. That child was loved more than we can imagine, and it's a testimonial to the rest of us parents to try to love as deeply. God bless all involved.

Maureen O'Brien
Canton, MA

Dear FRONTLINE,

While certainly one of the most touching, personally significant and moving documentaries I have witnessed in quite some time, I could not help but be struck by the ironic oddity that the end credits proceeded by pushing up a Daisy.

Bless the likes of the Lynch family (the name itself a tad ironic) for the sincere devotion with which they serve the living whilst one of us shuffles 'from this mortal coil.'

Chicago, IL

Dear FRONTLINE,

Thank you for putting together this documentary. It was brave, respectful, and insightful.

My grandmother is in and out of the hospital now, and we are all preparing ourselves for what's coming next. Hearing first-hand from those who are going through the death process was educational and inspirational.

Death affects all of us, and it's a subject that we must understand, even though we tend to shy away from it. Having watched this documentary, I understand more. Although I don't expect how this understanding will affect my experience when my grandmother passes away, I appreciate having this understanding.

San Francisco, CA

Dear FRONTLINE,

I did not know that our family members had any options regarding my dearsister's cremation. I have worked at 2 funeral homes in the office area only.I completed office paperwork, and the level of respect paid to the deardeparted was mentally therapeutic for me. I would be honored to be a hands on assistant in any capacity with regards to a person's final wishes.Why is it that some funeral directors omit this crucial detail that family may indeed attend the final funerary cremation process?

Thank you so much in advance for this awe inspiring program!

Billie Williams
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Dear FRONTLINE,

The tears are still fresh on my face as I write this, I've found it difficult to cry since I lost my Mother and Husband within 5 weeks of each other 4 years ago. They both died in my home, with the wonderful hospice nurses who helped me through the process of letting both my loved ones die with dignity.

My Mom was 91 and had had a horrific month in hospital recovering from a serious bladder infection. After that she made me promise not to put her in hospital ever again, "Let me go Joanie." I honored her wishes and she went slowly, painlessly, with love and so peacefully that her passing was a truly spiritual experience.

My husband's passing was so different and much, much, harder,for me, I'm not sure yet why, I only know it was. Almost immediately after Mom passed, the Doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do medically for Ron and once again suggested Hospice care. I knew Ron wanted to be in his home and so the Hospice (Vitas) nurses returned. I think we both felt we had some precious time to be together, just the two of us, there were a few moments when we were able to talk about his passing and I even had time to read a wonderful poem to him, and to snuggle like spoons. The day he died, I was so exhausted, the nurse insisted I go and get some sleep in the next room, which I did, knowing he was being cared for. Suddenly I was being shaken awaken by the hurse saying, "come quickly, he going"! I didn't understand what she meant, but as I ran to his room he looked as though he's passed out. I held him and saw his chest rise and fall and told them that they were wrong, he was still breathing, which I now know is normal, Ijust held him in my arms and told him to go to the light and kept saying over and over. it's too soon. Someohow they took me out of his room and made sure I stayed there

It's been 4 years now, and this is the first time I've really been able to let go and allow the tears to flow. Everyone has told me over and over how brave and strong I've been, not really, I need to cry, and God bless you for allowing me to become vulnerable, and real. I'm not editing or rereading what I've written.

Joan Hall
Winnetka, California

Dear FRONTLINE,

I have been employed in a wonderful, small cemetery for about two years, helping with burials and setting up families with pre-need arrangements. I always found it odd that people will insure their material things ---cars, homes, businesses, as well as their life, their health, all JUST IN CASE--- but the one thing we all know WILL happen is the one thing too many fail to plan for. Because death care is not a topic of frequent discussion, by the time people are forced by fate to finally confront it, they are hit by sticker shock. This is why more than half the property in my cemetery is owned by pre-need families, many of whom already went through the "at-need" shock, and wouldn't put their worst enemy through it. Our job is to make a family's worst days bearable so they may return to their lives as normally as possible or, as Rose Hills Cemetery used to advertise in L.A., "On the worst day of my life, they held my hand."

What's odd is how many times I'll see individuals ---almost always men--- say "Oh, just cremate me and spread my ashes at sea", which is a romantic, but rarely used, notion. Here's why: Where will the family gather to remember him? I've never once seen a family stand at the ocean's edge and say "Well, Dad's out there, between here and Japan....somewhere." The grief process, and that of remembering and honoring a life and that person's impact on OUR lives, is why we spend money for dignified funerals, burials, and memorial grave markers. Every day as I walk through our memorial park, I see loved ones sitting beside the grave, touching the marker and talking to the departed. Some come out almost daily, to clean and polish the marker and provide even more, personal, groundskeeping care.

I cherish and value the trust families place in me and my memorial park to provide dignity and compassion, as well as a proud place to call a loved one their eternal home.

Singing Hills Memorial Park, El Cajon CA

David Fone
El Cajon , CA

Dear FRONTLINE,

Once again your program is spot on. "The Undertaker" took me back to the worst days of my life. But, with less pain and grief of those days of years ago. Frontline you never fail to move and educate me.

Scott Mercer
Phoenix, Az

Dear FRONTLINE,

I have always been afraid of death and all that goes with it. Just over a year ago my beloved mother, Alice passed away. Death took on a whole new meaning. For something so scary became something I had no choice but to confront. I promised I would not let her go through this alone, so I had to be very involved in the whole process.

I wish I had been able to see this show before, but nevertheless it was something I had to see, and it has made, what is still difficult, that much easier.

Brett Shim
Los Angles, CA